What I would tell my Mom

I am not one to visit the cemetery and talk to Mom. I was not brought up that way.

However, I do feel the need to tell Mom how things are going, so thought I would write her a letter. It's my way of getting things off my chest. So here goes.

Dear Mom,

Your house is sold. We got it cleaned up and on the market in January, and got a contract in 2 weeks. Of course, then we had to get everything out of the house, which as you know, was a lot of stuff.

We held the estate sale last week. Three days. We sold a lot of stuff. Almost everything. Many people are now enjoying those treasures of yours, some hidden away, some just no longer noticed. Us kids took almost all the furniture. We did sell your big chest freezer. You would have been happy. The guy that bought it didn't speak English, so I had to use my Spanish. When he came back to pick it up, and hour later, with cash and muscle, I noticed there were 3 children sitting in the back of the pick-up. They will make good use of the freezer, and they got a good deal. It made them happy, and it made me happy.

Because the weather forecast called for snow on the last day, we were making deals the day before, trying to get as much sold as possible.

Maybe we didn't make as much money as we might have, but at least we didn't have to pack stuff up and haul it off.

In particular I remember a pillow you had made. It was lavender (your favorite color). It was probably made in the 60's, as it was out of gingham. with each check stitched into a point. I remember when they were new, the points were pressed and starched, and stuck up. Not pillows to be used, only for decoration. Now it was all pressed down and in need of a good wash. I was tempted to take it, but I really didn't need it. A younger girl came in and bought it, said she was decorating "shabby chic", and of course, this was just perfect for that style. We told her our Mom had made it, and about how old it was (surely older than the purchaser).

So, your things are making other people happy.

Remember the painted mirror that hung in the hallway? I remember you told me you bought it from someone who painted on mirrors and sold them door to door. You kept it from when you bought it (probably in the 50's) until we sold it last week. The guy who bought it probably has an antique store (although he tried not to let on). I told him it's story. He also bought some of the scrap books you had made for kids to look through, with pictures cut from magazines and things. I'm sure many people thought those should have gone in the trash, but obviously someone thinks they are special.

Your china set went to the girl who was your "adopted granddaughter". None of us wanted fine china, but couldn't just sell it because of all the pieces you had painted to match.

Everyone got something. No fights over what people wanted.

And I have helped your other children, as promised. M. bought a house, and is almost moved. There are still a couple of issues, like a broken pipe and furnace which won't keep running, but I am sure with my help it will be livable in the next couple of days.

Now I need to get busy on my house. You remember my house. You came here one time. I'm really glad you got to see it.

The flowers at your house are blooming. The daffodils and hyacinths are in bloom, tulips are coming up. Mums need to be cut down, and probably the hydrangea, although I never really know what to do with it. I have transplanted some of everything I want, especially some of the Iris which you got from the lady who lived where the "new" airport is today. That would make those Iris at least 50 years old or so.

I don't know if the new owners will be into gardening. I have offered to show them where everything is planted, with instructions on how to care for them, so we shall see if they take me up on the offer.

The closing is next week.

You can rest easy. It's all under control.


Love and miss you,

Your daughter

P.S. We found your 50th birthday card that I and my friend K. made for you. You kept saying you had kept it, but couldn't find it. We found it after the sale, in some odd box. How funny.

Story about an antique dealer

Continued from yesterday....

My former boss, who liked antiques, told me this story.

There was an antique dealer roaming the countryside, hoping to find antique furniture in a farmer's barn or shed.

He stumbled upon one, and in the process of negotiating a price, he told the farmer "well, that furniture isn't good for anything except firewood". They settled on a price, and the dealer said he would be there the next day to pick it up.

When he returned, he was shocked to find the furniture hacked up. The farmer said "well, you told me it was only good for firewood, so I thought I would help you out".

HA

I found it amusing. Perhaps you will also.

My Mother's Voice

This morning when I learned that both my brother and my sister could use some things that were sold at the estate sale, I heard a voice in my head say "What is wrong with you people".

And it was the voice of my Mother.

Mom was organized. She never went running to the store for something which she already possessed, because she knew where it was.

My father was just the opposite. He was always purchasing pliers, screwdrivers, etc., because he couldn't find his. He often got pliers from us kids for Christmas presents, because it was something within our budget, and we knew, no matter how many he might already have, he could always use another.

My Mother got so irritated with him taking tools out of the drawer in the kitchen (for her use) that she eventually bought a small tool box to hold the tools she needed, put a padlock on it, and hid the key from my Dad. I'm pretty sure this was after all of the kids left home, because we had probably gotten blamed for the disappearances prior to this time.

I'm not saying in any way I am organized like my Mother, but I generally can dig around and find what I know I have... somewhere.

Anyway, it was a little strange, because that voice in my head was my Mother's voice.

I heard her use that phrase so many times, but until today, the meaning of it didn't really sink in.

It made me smile. My poor Mom.

I miss her.

Dealing with dealers at the estate sale

My Mother had Christmas dishes which were given to her about 10 years ago. Not anything from our childhood.

None of us wanted them, so they were up for sale.

A woman came in the 2nd day, and picked them up to buy when I was in another part of the house. When I returned to the cashier table (which my sister was handling), our helper was busily packing up the dishes for this woman.

I thought it was a little odd this woman was happy to just stand out of the way, and even give some instructions on the packing, but not offering to help in any way.

I mean heck, this wasn't a department store, and she got them very cheaply.

She was telling us these were for her mother who lives one state over, about a 5 hour drive.... then something about she might ship them to her, then some
other things, and my radar started going off. Since I had missed the initial conversation, I wasn't sure if I should be wondering about her story or not... not that it really mattered, she paid what they were marked.

However, when they were boxed up, a guy came to the door to help her carry them to their vehicle.

I recognized him as someone who had come in the day before, looked around, and left. He was better dressed than most of the people we were seeing.

An hour or so after he left, and I had time to digest what went on, I told my sister and her friend (our helper) that the woman was a dealer.

They were both shocked, and wanted to know why I thought so.

I found it amusing that the next day, both of them were recounting things the woman said which made them suspicious.

Yea, right.

Well, they are both stay at home Mom's who have home schooled their children, so they are not use to running into people who outright lie to you.

Oh, the really funny thing is I realized later the woman just assumed these dishes are like 40 or 50 years old. The only problem with that, is she will be misrepresenting them to any buyers.

I know someone who has a 2nd home in the area she claims her Mother lives. So, I think I will ask her to put out the word if anyone sees these dishes in an antique store. It's a small world, one never knows.

The dealer is probably telling everyone what rubes we are.

Which reminds me of a joke...

More on the estate sale...

It was interesting running the estate sale, especially after the chaos of the first few hours.

When we opened, of course there was the line at the door, probably 15 people marched in. One woman (who had been to the house days before the sale, offering to "help")
came to the cashier table with lots of Christmas items. As she laid them out, I saw some old Christmas items, which I had not seen on a table.


I asked the woman where she had got the Christmas items, she pointed to a blue tub which was unpacked, labeled in my Mother's handwriting "Christmas Decorations".
I told the woman that item was not for sale, quickly returned it to the storage tub and took the tub out to my car.

When we were setting up I kept saying "I haven't seen the old Christmas ornaments". As my Mother never got rid of anything, I knew there were ornaments from my childhood, which I had seen in recent years.


I have yet to unpack the tub and look at everything, but am quite certain it contains all the missing Christmas items. It will be fun when I do. I remember unpacking them a few years ago, when I put up the tree for my Mom, before her stroke.
She had quit using the old ornaments a long time ago, but never got rid of them, and I remembered then how much fun it was to take the walk down memory lane.

The Estate Sale is Over- Thank God

OMG

We held the estate sale Thursday/Friday/Saturday, which was during spring break (as I suggested).

So, a little, or a lot of whining about my sister. Sorry, but I use this blog to vent.

She has been going to our Mom's house almost every day for the last 2 months.

Most people would have had everything sorted and ready to be priced for sale by then, but of course, not her. She had not even touched the garage, or the 2 outbuildings, claiming that was for our brother's to do. My brother's came last week and moved out all the furniture, cleaned out most of the outbuildings, but didn't really have time to sort through everything in the garage.

So my brother who lives in town came over on Monday and started cleaning out the garage. I was telling him what to do, then my sister thought we had to have tables in the garage, so pulled him away from sorting to make tables, which wasted an entire afternoon.

By the time the sale came, we had tables, but everything was still on the floor in a big pile. I was at my Mom's until 9:30 the night before the sale, just trying to get some stuff out on the table. The next day I set up a 5 cent box in the garage, and started throwing bits and pieces into it. One guy sat through there and sifted out all kinds of things. Of course, who knows if it came out of the 5 cent box, or the 25 cent table, but honestly, I was just trying to get stuff out of the house, so we wouldn't have to haul it off or deal with it later.

We did have a dealer come through, who found a very old small wrench. I could have been a jerk and told him it wasn't for sale, but I hate to do that, so gave it to him for 25 cents. He got a good deal, and it was the last day of the sale and we had a snow storm (first day of spring), so at least he got something for his troubles.

Although a lot of things went out of the house way too cheaply, since my sister thinks she doesn't have the time to try and sell anything on Ebay, that's the way it goes.

However, the good news is, after 3 days of sorting though things, realizing I didn't know what they were worth, but thought things might have some value, I started carting things home. My sister said "if someone else wants to take the time to sell things on Ebay, they can keep the money", so that's what I plan to do.

My sister didn't price anything in the house, because she doesn't go to garage or estate sales, or resale shops. That's fair enough. I told her if she got everything organized I would go around and price it, but all she got organized were the books, tapes, toys.

Anyway, we survived. My sister's friend came and helped. She was great. Such a work horse. I don't know what we would have done without her. Every night and morning she and I would go around reorganizing, and I would get prices on more things. If you don't have a price on it, or at least a sign above saying the price of stuff on that table, many people (including me) won't take the time to ask for a price. We had 4 old phones sitting out, but no prices, and I finally noticed that about 2 hours before the end of the sale, priced them for a couple of bucks each, and they were gone.

At least the people who came the last day of the sale had some things to buy.
And, I did call 2 of my friends, and sold them things over the phone. One was a fireplace tool set, which apparently I had bought for my parents. My friend is planning to do an outdoor fireplace, so she can use them. She got them for $10.00, as I had marked them at 20.00, but the last day we were selling everything at 50% off.

We did have issues with a couple of collectors, but that's for another posting.

It's amazing how much we got rid of, but I was sure pricing it to move. And, a lot of people were happy to get the bargains.

So, my Mom's stuff has made a lot of people happy, and people got to know the provenance of some items, and that's always fun.

As I said when I sold all my stuff from my house 7 years ago "I set my stuff free, to make other people happy".

And over the next few days, there will be lots of people saying "I got a great deal at an estate sale", and it will be with a smile on their face when they utter those words.

Mother would be proud.

Mom's Favorite Holiday

April Fools Day was perhaps Mom's favorite holiday. As my brother said "If it wasn't for Mom's April Food Day tricks, she could have been declared a Saint".

It's hard to believe that less than 1 year ago she was still enjoying such tricks.

Her all time cleverest trick were her cotton ball coconut macaroons. We made these for the home health aide last year, and Mother thoroughly enjoyed watching as the aide attempted to eat one.

Here's the recipe

Ingredients

2 egg whites
12 large cotton balls
1 cup shredded coconut

Beat the egg whites until they peak *

Take the cotton balls, using your fingers, dip them in the egg white,covering entire surface, then roll in the shredded coconut. Place on ungreased cookie sheet, and put in oven at 400 degrees until the coconut turns brown.

I can't recall how long this takes -not long, maybe about 5 minutes, so check them every couple of minutes.

They will look like perfect coconut macaroon cookies.


*for you non-cooks, you must use a metal or glass bowl, totally free of grease, preferably chilled. Then beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until they turn white, and continue beating them until they will make "peaks" when you lift up the mixer blades

Now, the real trick is to get someone to try them, without appearing suspicious. One must plan out how you will approach the person. Sometimes I have pretended to "eat one", so others will.

Also, you must watch them eat "the cookie", so you can be present to keep them from swallowing it (yes, they are people who have tried to do so).

If you target one person, it's more fun if you let a couple of people in on the joke before hand, so you can all enjoy the reaction.

Happy April Fools Day.

Compliments of Mom.

Thinking of those still here

I still have one Aunt living on my Mother's side of the family. She is the youngest of the 9 children born to my Grandmother. I guess she is about 80 years old.

After my Mother's funeral I was asking her questions about her parents...things I might have asked my Mother, but Mom was always a little evasive. My Grandfather was bi-polar, and I know this was very embarrassing for my Mother. My Aunt, upon realizing she is the last of the family, has been more forthcoming with stories.
I need to go see her this year. She lives about 6 hours from here.

Then, on my Father's side, I still have one Aunt. I recently thought of some questions about that side of the family, and hope I can visit her more often to learn more. She was always a bit cold, a no-nonsense type of farm wife. But, now that they have moved off the farm, and she doesn't have to cook everyday, she might have mellowed. Her son found it amusing to learn they ate at fast food places quite often. It was a novel experience for them, after living out in the country for 80+ years.

And then my b/f's Mother. She recently had some health issues, which reinforces the need to visit her as often as possible. As she lives about 15 hours from here, it's not an easy trip. Perhaps she can come visit us, once my house is livable.

It's scary to think almost all of my parents' generation is gone. But each day I read the obituaries, and sometimes I recognize a name.

At least now it's my parents' generation, and not mine.

I need to keep that in mind.

The Cost of Fighting Cancer

Bloomberg has an article recounting the journey, and cost, of a man battling kidney cancer.

It cost $618,616.00 over a 7 year period, most of in the last 2 years.

This case is a good example as to why insurance costs are so expensive. But it's hard not to keep trying, to keep hoping beyond all hope. One always wants just a little more time.

I know.

click here for link