Mom can't breathe

This morning Mom was fine. She sat up, ate breakfast, smiled at the hospice nurse around 11:00 AM.

My brother was here. I went to work on my house. I was at the hardware store when I got a phone call from him. It was 3:00. He said "Mom is gurgling".

I went straight from the hardware store to my Mom's. She was gasping for air. She needed to cough, but just couldn't get up the strength.

I phoned the hospice nurse to come. She asked if I wanted oxygen, I said yes.

Then I gave Mom some morphine an atrophine.

The nurse came. Mom was still gasping for air. The oxygen arrived, the nurse set it up. It helped. The nurse also gave Mom an ativan.

Apparently there is no air movement in the left lung (which is the side which was affected by the stroke), so that means only the top part of the right lung is working. Good news, it is clear.

The nurse says this is the beginning of Mom's body shutting down.

But, Mom has surprised us before.

However, for Mom's sake, I hope she is right.

This is no way to live.

I phoned my sister, and told her to come in tonight as someone needs to stay up with Mom.

When I had phoned her earlier to tell her the problem, she said "Do I need to come in?" I said "It's up you". Then she started to tell me what she was doing and why she couldn't come in, and I cut her off and told her I had to go as the oxygen was being delivered.

I think when she comes I will leave. If I am here all she will do is talk and talk, telling me all about her problems. LOL

I'll keep ya'll posted.

Is this the end?

This morning Mom was sleeping, but with her mouth open. You could tell she was dehydrated (from the medicine last night).

I gave her some water on my fingers, not wanting to give her too much to start her choking. I called hospice, and ask for the nurse to come out.

She said Mom's lungs are clear. At least the top of her lungs. There have been problems with the lower part of her lungs ever since she went on hospice. Her oxygen is around 93%. So neither of these are bad, but the nurse said she thought we were starting into the "active stage of dying".

Then later the home health aide came. She is not prepared for my Mother to die. She has gotten quite attached to her.

She woke up my Mom, asked her if she wanted something to eat (just so she could prove the nurse wrong, I think, lol). I fed her ice cream, but then when Mom took a sip of water, she started coughing. I told the aide "see, this is exactly what happened last night".

Then, you could almost see a light bulb go off in her head. She said maybe she is having a trouble swallowing thin liquids, that if a liquid is less than honey thickness it will go down into her lungs and not the stomach.

This made a lot of sense, because last night, the more Mom coughed, the more water I gave her, and then she coughed more.... Just a vicious circle.

So, we shall see tomorrow. Mom did eat a little today. Not much, but a little bit of sausage, bacon and pineapple. And, the ice cream.

Oh, and yesterday she ate corn on the cob, KFC chicken, and vanilla ice cream with M & M's and cashews.

Not exactly the diet of a dying woman.

Mom is coughing

My Mom was very alert this evening. I called on of her friends around 7:00, my Mom "listened" to her on the phone, and said a couple of word.

Then, around 9:00, my Mom starting coughing. A wet cough, but nothing came up. After half hour I thought I should call the hospice agency. The nurse on call suggested I give my Mom cough syrup, which I did. She said to call her in 20 minutes if it didn't get better.

Well, it did not get better, so I phoned again. She asked if I had a kit in the house (which I do) and suggested I give her Atropine. After looking this up on Google, I resisted. It dries up secretions, but it suggested to only give this when someone is in the end stage of dying, which I really didn't think my Mom is at.

But, after a couple of hours, and she is still coughing, I decided to give some to her. I really didn't want to do it, but didn't have much other options.

Finally, 3 hours later she seems to be sleeping.

I will have to get up every few hours to check on her.

If she really is dying, it will be hard to believe. But, sometimes it just goes this way.

It's not always like it is in the movies.

At least I have had the chance to tell her I love her, and even though she didn't respond, I told her that I know she loves me.

Probably tomorrow I will tell you she is perky and eating well.

But, maybe not.

Signs of dying

When my husband died (more on that some other time) he heard the death rattle, and said to me "is that the death rattle". I assured him it was not, because, how is it possible a dying person can know this and say this. Boy was I wrong. He died about 1/2 hour later.

There are many symptoms that occur that indicate that we are approaching our death. One of the most well-known is the death rattle. The death rattle is a sound that is produced when air moves through mucus that has accumulated in the throat of a dying person after loss of the cough reflex and loss of the ability to swallow. This is a very common symptom, though it does not always occur prior to death. The death rattle does not cause any discomfort to the patient, however, family members frequently find the sound distrubing

My mother could be dying, although a year ago she had a dream she had died, so I don't think she is following the guidelines.

She was always one to do her own thing.

I found a site with passive and active signs of dying.

click here for complete list

Signs of the Active Phase of Dying

• inability to arouse patient at all (coma) or, ability to only arouse patient with great effort but patient quickly returns to severely unresponsive state (semi-coma)

• severe agitation in patient, hallucinations, acting "crazy" and not in patient's normal manner or personality

• much longer periods of pausing in the breathing (apnea)

• dramatic changes in the breathing pattern including apnea, but also including very rapid breathing or cyclic changes in the patterns of breathing (such as slow progressing to very fast and then slow again, or shallow progressing to very deep breathing while also changing rate of breathing to very fast and then slow)

• other very abnormal breathing patterns

• severely increased respiratory congestion or fluid buildup in lungs

• inability to swallow any fluids at all (not taking any food by mouth voluntarily as well)

• patient states that he or she is going to die

• patient breathing through wide open mouth continuously and no longer can speak even if awake

• urinary or bowel incontinence in a patient who was not incontinent before

• marked decrease in urine output and darkening color of urine or very abnormal colors (such as red or brown)

• blood pressure dropping dramatically from patient's normal blood pressure range (more than a 20 or 30 point drop)

• systolic blood pressure below 70, diastolic blood pressure below 50

• patient's extremities (such as hands, arms, feet and legs) feel very cold to touch

• patient complains that his or her legs/feet are numb and cannot be felt at all

• cyanosis, or a bluish or purple coloring to the patients arms and legs, especially the feet and hands)

• patient's body is held in rigid unchanging position

My mom has the problem with build up of fluids in the lungs, but not really any of the other stuff.