I miss my mom
No, Mom didn't die.
It's just that I miss the mother she use to be, before her stroke.
The day before Mom had her stroke, she drove herself to water aerobics, drove to Wal-Mart, walked all around Wal-Mart trying to find a new swim suit, drove home.
The next day, her world changed, as did mine.
When I looked at the clutter in the laundry room last night, I said to myself "mom would have this better organized".
My mom was a great organizer. She was the kind who, upon returning from a trip, immediately got the pictures developed and into a scrapbook.
She was the original scapbooker, before it became popular. She kept all the receipts and ticket stubs from trips, which went into the scrapbook along with the pictures, all of which were properly labeled.
She didn't do any of that "fancy" stuff they do now in scrapbooks. Hers was always just a record of her trip.
She also often kept a diary when on the trip. I remember when my parents and I went to London, the year after my husband died. Every evening my mother would sit at the desk and write what we had done that day.
That's the mom I miss.
Mom is still here. However, she can no longer stand, or sit (without being propped up), or roll over. All she can do is move her right arm and right leg.
At least she can eat. She still has her own teeth.
Sometimes she even feeds herself.
That's on a good day.
I miss Mom.
It's just that I miss the mother she use to be, before her stroke.
The day before Mom had her stroke, she drove herself to water aerobics, drove to Wal-Mart, walked all around Wal-Mart trying to find a new swim suit, drove home.
The next day, her world changed, as did mine.
When I looked at the clutter in the laundry room last night, I said to myself "mom would have this better organized".
My mom was a great organizer. She was the kind who, upon returning from a trip, immediately got the pictures developed and into a scrapbook.
She was the original scapbooker, before it became popular. She kept all the receipts and ticket stubs from trips, which went into the scrapbook along with the pictures, all of which were properly labeled.
She didn't do any of that "fancy" stuff they do now in scrapbooks. Hers was always just a record of her trip.
She also often kept a diary when on the trip. I remember when my parents and I went to London, the year after my husband died. Every evening my mother would sit at the desk and write what we had done that day.
That's the mom I miss.
Mom is still here. However, she can no longer stand, or sit (without being propped up), or roll over. All she can do is move her right arm and right leg.
At least she can eat. She still has her own teeth.
Sometimes she even feeds herself.
That's on a good day.
I miss Mom.
Labels: missing mom, stroke
posted by Confessions of a Caregiver at
11:11 AM
1 Comments:
Your post about missing your mom while she is physically present struck a chord with me. My mom deteriorated into a shell of her former self during the few years before she died. Now that she’s been gone 2 years, the challenge is to remember the strikingly intelligent, vibrant, adventurous, caring woman that she was most of her life. I have faith that eventually, when I think of Mom, the first thought that will come to mind will be of her in the fullness of her life and not the feeble, dependent person she was forced to become. I’ll remember the avid traveler who biked around Europe with other young ladies long before it was fashionable and took the whole family on marvelous trips. I’ll remember the dedicated wife and loving mother. It’s not fair to her to remember her in any other way. I’m working on it...
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home