Planning for the future

Well, another wake up call for me, to live life to the fullest.

I guess I must be a slow learner. My husband died 21 years ago,
my dad 10, my mom almost 2, G's mom 1 year ago, and now my brother,
2 weeks ago. Of course add to that friends and co-workers over the
years.

I always remember a guy I use to work with. He was literally counting
the days to retirement...crossing the days off his calendar and keeping
a countdown. I think he had about 1 1/2 years to go. I can't remember
when he was going to retire, maybe at 55, or maybe a bit older.
He had lots of money saved up, and he hated his job.

Well, spring comes, he goes out to mow the grass, and dies of a heart
attack. His family gets all the money, and he never enjoyed life.

I was able to work on my "bucket list" after I quit working, 9 years
ago. Actually managed to get all the things done I wanted to, and then started thinking of more.

Then, it was time to start care giving. That has been my life for the last 4
years or so.

But even though G still has some health issues, we are planning on what we
want to do. The weather has been awful here this last summer, and last winter.
G lived in San Francisco before, so we are thinking about trying to live there
for a year. I realize now the reason I have been reluctant to move from
here was because of my brother M. I knew he really needed someone around
to help him out. And I was right. But now he is no longer a reason to stay
here.

Hopefully G will get the surgery he needs to be able to do peritoneal dialysis,
which means he can do it himself. He will do it every day, and it mimics
the kidney function better than taking out the blood. He sees the surgeon
Sept. 1, for the first consult.

Of course, there is always the risk the surgery won't be a success, or something will
go wrong later, but that is possible with anything in life. We could also
be in a car accident, or be in an Amtrak train which gets hit by a truck.


I always function better with a deadline. So, this will force me to get the
houses fixed up and hopefully rented. We can put all our stuff in storage
in the attic of the house I just bought.

We will get on a wait list for a handicap accessible apartment in San Francisco.
That will take some time, but I don't think I will be ready to move before
6 months from now, probably more like a year.

Lots to do. This will give me a reason to get rid of "stuff". I have
way too much stuff, and I really don't know how that happened considering
8 years ago my belongings were what I could fit in my car.

I've got guys here today putting in a new window in the bathroom. The old
one extended over the bathtub, so I could not do a proper handicap shower.
M had been nagging me to get it fixed. I thought he would be able to use it,
but obviously not. At least his nagging has forced me to get off the dime
and do something about the bathroom. I guess M is looking down from
above and saying "it's about time".