Missing M

M is gone. I no longer have to worry about him ringing me for something.

In some way it is a relief, because it was so tiring. But of course, I
miss him dearly.

We are making plans for the memorial service. I wrote the obit today.
I got the date wrong, but managed to correct it in time for publication.

It's still so difficult to believe he is gone. I finally forced myself
to go into his room and strip the bed. I need to remove all traces
of things I needed for his care giving. The lotions, the depends, the
baby wipes.

I will move the big screen TV to the family room. M had lost interest
in watching TV several weeks ago.

But it is still so hard to accept that he is gone. The house is quiet.
It's amazing how one gets use to having someone else in the house.

I turned the light on in his room, but I keep thinking he will be
ringing for me at any moment.

I did the best I could. I was the good sister. I still just feel
so bad he got short changed in life.