M Overmedicated...by me!

I tried the medicine from the comfort kit, I think it is something like Thorazine, I haven't even tried to look it up.

I gave him one pill around 9:00 AM yesterday. The nurse said I could give 2 within 6 hours (the dosing is 1 every 6 hours), so as M was still rather wound up around noon, I gave him another one.

Finally around 2:30 he could barely keep his eyes open, was starting to slur his words. I told him to go to sleep until 5:00, and I would fix some tomato soup for him.

Oh, did I mention he had trouble swallowing "thin liquids"? This is the same problem my mother had, a couple of weeks before she died. If the liquid is too thin, it goes into the lungs instead of the stomach. I bought some stuff called "thick it", to thicken up liquids, but M didn't like it.

So he is getting by on ice cream, vegetable juice, and then tomato soup.

Anyway, at 3:30 M was still not asleep, so I gave him one of the pills for nausea. He finally dozed off, but at 4:55 M rang the bell wanting to eat.

My other brother R was here, so I suggested he take M into the living room in the wheelchair, which he did. M managed to eat, with his eyes only open a slit.
Then he sat in the recliner in the living room. I changed his socks, put on some lotion. He was making some noises. I was trying to decide if those were noises of sleep, pleasure, or if he was dying, as his head was nodding.

Finally M decided he would go to bed. I asked R to take him, but I didn't stand there and help (as I should have), and M ended up on the floor between the wheelchair and the recliner. At least R is big and strong and could pick up M, but M has some bruises on his back.

Anyway, M was so drugged I was sure he would sleep well. Not so. He wanted something about every hour until 10:00, then about every 2 hours until 4:00, then up again at 6:00, and 8:00, and 10:00.

Somewhere around 8:00 he was complaining of pain in his leg, so I gave him some morphine. Oh, he did complain of pain around 1:00 AM, but it turned out the strap which holds his catheter line to his leg had fallen down, so the line was pulling on his penis (I would be in pain also!).

Oh, and the catheter bag is leaking, so we have to set it in a trash can. They should bring a new one today.

Home health aide should arrive any minute, and nurse and social worker later today.

I told R he could come around noon.

At least, M now appears to be resting, but he sure feels horrible.

Yesterday he said "God, please take me", so I guess when the end comes, he will actually be glad.