Delayed reaction

I don't know for sure what caused it, but yesterday I had a crying spell. I guess it's delayed mourning. I really miss my Mom.

And not just my Mom, my parents. I am now an orphan.

I guess after my Father died, although I was horribly upset (as his illness lasted only 2 weeks before he died), once the initial shock and mourning occurred, all thoughts and actions turned to taking care of Mom.

Within 5 months she moved to a smaller house, and then 2 months later we cleaned out the "farm house" and held an estate sale.

There was a lot to be done, and I guess although we all missed Dad and spoke of him often, having Mom to take care of forced us to move on.

Mother was also very good at moving on. She disposed of Dad's clothes very quickly, something which took me years to do after my husband died.

It could also just be because the holiday's are approaching, and because today is my birthday.

I always said I should be sending my Mother flowers on my birthday. After all, she did all the work to achieve that day. I think I managed to do so a couple of years, but not as often as I should have.

I have a urge to go to the cemetery to see her grave. I haven't been there since the funeral, but as it's about 15 degrees outside, so that's enough to curb that urge.