End of life care

Another one of the articles in the New York Times "New Old Age" was in reference to an article "Months to Live - with Faith and Friends". It is a great article. Read it if you have time. Here is the link.

The blog article is "Dying with Discernment". I guess the blog format allows for comments.

This was one of them.

as a retired hospice nurse, i can validate the beauty and effectiveness of palliative care. both the patient and the family get the kind of individualized support and care that makes the end of life a time of peaceful letting go in the serenity of a calm, well-supported family. as an ex-icu nurse, i can tell you that we not only waste incredible amounts of money on futile care, we torture our dying patients.

One of my friends' father died a couple of years ago, after suffering strokes for many years. The last year or so of his life, his wife kept taking him to the hospital whenever he had a stroke, or some malady. My friend told me, after several trips to the hospital, her father said "why do we keep doing this?"

It is so difficult for us to let go of loved ones. We always keep doing whatever it is we can do, to keep them around.

I don't think I have that problem with my Mom anymore. I did at one time. It took about a year and a half to come to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to get any better, no matter what I did.

And, the fact that she absolutely hated going to the hospital, hated needles, has certainly aided in my decision.

No hospitals. No needles.

In fact today, the hospice nurse took my Mom's blood pressure twice, and, not being happy with the result was going for a 3rd time. I told her no. My Mother hates even having her blood pressure taken. And, it doesn't matter! They just need it for their silly charts.

I told the nurse to write down the first one (which was lower than the 2nd).

I am sure my Mother's blood pressure went up, just because it was taken.