Mom's Birthday

My Mother's birthday was last week. She would have been 86.

Thinking about my Mother's life, she was lucky to not have too many regrets.

She did make a comment, after she had her stroke, that maybe she should have married her high school boyfriend. She said he was very nice, but the reason she broke up with him was because he was so short. She said she didn't realize this until she saw a picture of them together. I recently saw this picture, and he was indeed short, coming up to just above her shoulder.

I tried to offset her regret by reminding her if she hadn't married Dad, she wouldn't have me.

Of course, maybe she would have had better children. But, maybe not.

I was certainly not her perfect daughter. She tried her best to get me to be, what in her eyes, would be the perfect daughter.

That would be:
1) Play the piano well enough to play for a church service
2) Sing well enough to sing a solo (in church)
3) Marry a preacher
4) Have children, at least one girl
5) Be a good cook
6) Be a good seamstress

I managed to accomplish only 1 on this list.

However, after one of my childhood friends married a preacher, but then got divorced a couple of years later (after having an affair), I know she rethought what she wanted from me, to merely things she didn't want me to do.

This was reinforced when she was making a baby quilt, which she announced would be for the first grandchild. When one of my friends jokingly asked her if the baby had to be legitimate, she began referring to the quilt as a "doll blanket".

But, at the end of my Mom's life, I was able to redeem myself and became the "perfect" daughter, by taking care of her. All of her friends from church told her how lucky she was to have me, and she told everyone that when I was born, I was an answer to her prayers.

The one regret I have is that I didn't write down stories my Mom told me after she had her stroke.

I took a creative writing class, and got her to tell me stories with the idea I would write about her life.

So the next blog postings I will try to write down some of these stories, so I won't forget. Maybe one of these day I will write a book, like every other unemployed person these days (LOL).

And to anyone reading this, please take the time to get your parents to share stories of their lives.

Try to live without regrets.