What I learned

What I learned from this experience, most of which I already knew or guessed.

1) You really need an advocate in the hospital. Not just someone to come visit, but someone to really check what the medical staff is doing. If we had not intervened with regard to the sedation, I wonder if Lilian would have survived.

2) I heard one of the Dr. tell the nurse to keep Lilian elevated from the waist up, otherwise she might "aspirate", which means "choke to death". How many times does this happen to a patient? I shudder to think.

3) Sedating and older person is very bad. There is more and more evidence of hallucinations in elderly patients, some caused by medicines. As the neurologist explained to us, in an older person, it takes much, much longer for the body, and the brain, to clear out the medicine.

4) Ask questions. Generally the medical staff likes to tell you what they know, show how smart they are. If they aren't too busy, you can learn a lot by asking questions.

5) If you aren't happy with the staff taking care of your loved one, ask to speak to the supervisor. The nursing supervisor can't know everything that is going on, and with the nursing shortage, it's very likely they have some employees that need watching.

I guess the best thing I learned, is even an 83 year old person can be on a vent for a week, and yet survive, and recover.

I had almost given up hope on modern medicine. It's nice to be proven wrong.